I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
