You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
