I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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