I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
