she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
