I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
