he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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