I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
