I'm drive I can fine osifer
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
