Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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