Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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