She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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