You're completely useless in the revolution.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
