nut hugger
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
