is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
