I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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