fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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