There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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