Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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