My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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