there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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