Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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