We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
