im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
