The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
