I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish there were birth control emojis
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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