I can text with my tongue
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
