she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
