She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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