he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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