She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize