508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
