C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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