Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
