what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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