im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
either way he was missing a nipple.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
