dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
