Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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