i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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