Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
