i just had sex bonerless
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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