hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
