I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
