Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
