If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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