Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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