dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
