i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
