We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
