We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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