I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
