Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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