Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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