im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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