I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize