I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
