I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So squirting runs in the family.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
