I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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