I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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