Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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