grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
