We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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