escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
