dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
