He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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