I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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