youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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