come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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