last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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