No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
