wat bout pragnant strippers??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
