Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
