I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
